Fear K.N.O.T.: Spiritual Companionship for a Tangled Age

We are living in a tangled age—knotted with political uncertainty, ecological anxiety, relational complexity, and deeply personal upheavals. Many arrive at the threshold of spiritual direction carrying these burdens not only in their minds, but in their bodies and hearts. In such a time, the need is clear: to hold sacred space, not rush for solutions. To accompany others in the slow, humanizing work of becoming whole.

At a recent webinar titled Fear K.N.O.T., sponsored by Sacred Ground and Loyola Spirituality Center in St. Paul, I facilitated a conversation with a group of spiritual directors who were gathered to explore what it means to companion others through fear. Not to soothe or solve it, but to name it, normalize it, befriend it, and integrate it. In doing so, we asserted, we reclaim fear not as failure, but as a part of the sacred journey—an opening toward deeper trust, deeper love. I offer this summary in hopes that the conversation feeds others in this important work, as well.

The Tyranny of Fear—and the Taproot of the Heart

We began with the image of the “taproot”—that deep anchoring point in the soul. Inspired by James Finley’s Turning Toward the Mystics, we reflected on the first fear, the primal awareness of change or threat, and distinguished it from the compounding, clouding fears that follow. When our hearts become overwhelmed by these layers, we lose our connection to courage.

Fear, in this light, isn’t something to push away. It is something to touch with care. And so we sank into a grounding body scan, noticing where fear lives in our muscles and bones. As we named the knots—those tightened noose-knots under strain—we began to sense the possibility of a gentler holding. A slip knot. A sacred knot.

K.N.O.T.: A Framework for Sacred Companionship

Throughout the evening, we engaged a four-fold framework for spiritual direction in the midst of fear:

• Keep Noticing (Naming)

• Normalize the Experience (Accepting)

• Orient Toward Compassion (Befriending)

• Take it Forward (Integrating)

This model offers a gentle path—not a prescription, but a posture.

1. Keep Noticing:
   We shared stories of numbness, wordlessness, and wide emotional swings. Real fears—personal, social, spiritual. Naming them brought clarity. It allowed our unconscious realities to come into the light. As one participant shared, “I need a safe, non-judgmental space to fumble toward my words—even if they come with tears, awkward pauses, or cussing.”

2. Normalize the Experience:
   Simply naming fear isn’t enough. We must also receive it without judgment. In our dyads, we asked: When have you witnessed someone begin to accept their fears? What helped? Time and again, it was the presence of another—compassionate, non-anxious, curious—that allowed someone to slow down and admit: “I don’t have to carry this alone.”

3. Orient Toward Compassion:
   We read Jan Richardson’s poem “There Are Stories” and remembered that each fear carries a narrative waiting to be spoken. To befriend fear is to trace those stories—not with urgency, but with reverence. What might this fear be trying to teach me? What value does it protect? What longing does it reveal?

4. Take it Forward:
   Finally, we explored integration. Not resolution. Not closure. But a willingness to move forward with fear as a companion—not a captor. Whether the fears related to identity, family, or the future of the planet, we acknowledged that fear isn’t a detour on the spiritual path. It is the path.

One story that resonated deeply: a parent navigating their child’s coming out as trans. The temptation, they admitted, was to try and resolve the fear. To rush toward “this too shall pass.” But the invitation was to stay present. To love behind and beyond names and categories. To walk the journey with grace, not fixes.

Holding Sacred Space in Fearful Times

As spiritual companions, our calling is not to remove fear, but to help others relate to it in new ways. To offer presence instead of platitudes. Compassion instead of conclusions. Curiosity instead of control.

In the end, our hope is not that fear will disappear, but that it will no longer hold us hostage. That we will remember the words whispered throughout Scripture and the mystics: Fear not, for I am with you.

In these tangled times, may we become slip knots for one another—secure, flexible, and ultimately free.